When its over
by Atiannala
Summary: ONE SHOT Remus after the war. Warning contains slash, not your bag, dont read!


Disclaimer: It isn't mine.

The smell of bacon and eggs permeated through the room rousing Remus from a particularly deep sleep. At first he contented himself to just sniffing the air with his eyes closed until his stomach began to yearn for the delicious food it was smelling. Slowly, the man opened his eyes and sat up in his bed. Yellow sunlight flooded in through the window and across the cream colored silk sheets of the bed. The room was warm and inviting, the smell of breakfast only adding to its many charms. Remus stretched his arms out to the side and glanced at the rumpled covers next to him where Sirius had been earlier. Just as Remus was about to get up to head downstairs, the door burst open and Sirius entered grinning broadly.

"Good morning Moony!"

Remus glanced at the tray in Sirius's arms. There was eggs, bacon, toast, fruit, Sirius had really out done himself, especially since he didn't like to cook at all. He whined every time Remus asked him to throw together a sandwich for lunch!

"What's all this?" Remus asked a smile crossing his lips.

"Why Moony! You can't tell me you forgot!"

Remus thought quickly, it wasn't their anniversary, that was in October and this definitely wasn't October. Then what was it?

Sirius laughed, a sound that brought a calming warmth to Remus every time he heard it. "You can't tell me you forgot your own birthday!"

Was it really? He had lost track of the days in this recent bliss. He had been so happy that little things like birthdays failed to matter.

Still chuckling Sirius sat the breakfast trey down in front of Remus. "Many happy returns Moony," he said before softly pressing his lips to Remus's.

As Sirius pulled away, Remus lingered there with his eyes closed basking in the ecstasy that filled his being. He allowed his eyes to open slowly as a smile crept its way across his lips. "As loon as you here Padfoot, they will be," he whispered breathily as he leaned in for another kiss as Sirius muttered the word "Always" into his lips.

A flash of lightening filled the room as the thunder almost simultaneously rattled the windows causing Remus to sit bolt upright in bed. Breathing heavily he glanced around the darken room, illuminated only my pale blue moonlight. A shaking hand made its way up to his face rubbing his tired eyes.

He chanced a look down at the bed beside him finding it just as he had expected. The sheet on the other half of the bed was neatly tucked in and had only been slightly disturbed by the fact that Remus had used his own half to cover his own body. Sighing Remus shook his head, how long had it been since Sirius had left? And he still slept on the right side of the bed.

Pushing the covers aside, Remus stood and crossed the room walking towards the bathroom. Without even bothering to shut the door or turn on the light he ran the faucet.

"Pull yourself together" he willed in his own mind as he splashed cold water on his face. "There is no need to hope for what you know will never be true."

He left the room before he could see himself in the mirror. He had no desire to see what he had become.

Slowly as sadly he walked once again across his silent bedroom, taking a seat in front of the window. Not one star could be seen in the dark sky as the storm poured over the countryside, not one. No stars, no hope, no future. Sirius had gone and this time he was not coming back. There was nothing left for him here. The war was over and he was alone. Many had died, and yet as if by some cruel joke of fate he persisted. He had seen death, he had seen it in the young and the old, the brave and the cowards- Death did not care.

When it was all over, it was simply too painful to be around any of them for they reminded him of the one who he missed the most.

Remus wondered if he would ever be able to sleep through a night again for he was ever so tired and worn. His appetite had all but disappeared and his bones were beginning to show through his skin. He had always gone on in the past, but now, what was there to live for? Sirius was gone, the war was over, there was no one to fight, no one to care for, no one to love, and no one to love him. He was not needed and yet he was not allowed the peace of eternal sleep. It was his punishment to live on past the others, punishment for a crime that he could not even remember. Day by day he was forced to go on, half-man, half-beast, and half-alive and night by night he wished it to all be over.

Remus looked away from the starless night a lump caught in his throat. He sat there looking at nothing on the back of his bony hands when bit of light fell into his lap. He didn't need to look up to know that the moon had come from behind the clouds.

"How long will you keep me here with nothing to live for?" he asked of whatever deity might be out their twisting and breaking the lives of men, "How long must I endure the endless minutes of nothingness? How long do I have to stay in this shattered shell living this bleak story? There is nothing now! Nothing! Why do you keep me?" His voice falling to a whisper Remus looked up again silent tears falling from his eyes. "Why?"

The waxing moon stood shining in the sky amidst the storm clouds and the rain. In a moment, a new cloud passed in font of the pale mistress of the sky and all was dark once more.


End file.
